How Family Violence Charges Affect Divorce in Texas

A Family Violence Charge During Your Divorce Changes Everything

If you’re facing assault charges while going through a divorce in Houston, you’re probably terrified about what happens to your kids. Here’s what you need to know.

Will I Lose My Kids?

Let’s address the question that’s keeping you up at night: Can you lose custody of your children because of a family violence charge?

The honest answer: Yes, you can. Even if you’re never convicted.

If you’re going through a divorce inHouston and you’ve been charged with family violence, or even just accused of it, you’re in one of the scariest situations a parent can face. You might be wondering:

• Will I still get to see my kids?
• Can my spouse keep me away from them?
• What if the allegations aren’t true?
• Will this ruin my relationship with my children forever?

Here’s what’s happening: You’re not just fighting a criminal case. You’re fighting for your future as a parent. And these two fights are connected in ways that can devastate you if you don’t understand them.

This guide explains, in plain English, how family violence charges affect your divorce and what you need to do to protect your relationship with your children.

What You Need to Know Right Now

The Bottom Line: A family violence charge, even without a conviction, can result in you losing decision-making rights for your children, being restricted to supervised visits only, or in the worst cases, losing access to your kids completely.

Here’s what’s at stake:

Your Kids:

• The court can limit you to seeing your children only with a supervisor present.
• You could lose the right to make decisions about their school, medical care, or where they live.
• In severe cases, you might not be allowed to see them at all.

Your Home:

• A protective order can force you to move out immediately, even if it’s your house.
• You might be prohibited from going near your children’s school or activities.

Your Rights:

• You could be banned from owning guns for life (even for hunting or your job)
• Your criminal record could affect employment and housing forever
• You’ll likely be ordered to attend anger management classes for 6-9 months

Here’s the part that shocks most people: The divorce court can decide you committed family violence even if you’re found “not guilty” in criminal court. They use different rules, and the bar is much lower.

What Counts as “Family Violence” in Texas

Texas law §71.004 – defines family violence more broadly than you might think. It’s not just hitting someone. It includes:

Physical actions:

• Pushing, shoving or grabbing your spouse
• Throwing objects at them (even if you miss)
• Blocking them from leaving a room
• Any action intended to cause physical harm

Threats:

• Threatening to hurt your spouse in a way that makes them genuinely afraid
• Threatening to hurt yourself to control them
• Threatening actions with your children

Who it applies to:

• Current or former spouses
• People you have a child with
• Anyone you’re dating or dated
• Family members living with you

Important: Even if there are no visible injuries, it can still count as family violence. Even if your spouse hit you first and you were defending yourself, you can still be charged.

You’re Fighting Two Cases at Once

Here’s what makes this situation so difficult: You’re dealing with two completely separate legal cases happening at the same time.

The Criminal Case

This is the State of Texas charging you with a crime. The prosecutor (not your spouse) controls this case. Your spouse can’t “drop the charges” even if they want to.

What’s at stake: Jail time, fines, a permanent criminal record

The rules: The prosecutor has to prove you’re guilty “beyond a reasonable doubt,” meaning they have to be about 99% certain you did it.

The Divorce/Custody Case

This is the civil case between you and your spouse about dividing property and deciding custody.

What’s at stake: Time with your kids, who makes decisions about them, how your property gets divided

The rules: Your spouse only has to prove it’s “more likely than not” that you committed family violence, basically 51% sure.

Here’s the Problem

Because the divorce court uses easier rules to prove things, you can:

• Be found “not guilty” in criminal court
• But still have the divorce judge decide you committed family violence
• And lose custody rights based on that decision

Think of it this way: The criminal court asks “Are we 99% sure this happened?” The divorce court asks “Is it more likely than not this happened?” That’s a huge difference.

How This Affects Seeing Your Children

This is the part that matters most to you. Let’s talk about what actually happens to your relationship with your kids.

The Court’s Assumption About You

Once there’s a finding of family violence (from either a conviction OR a divorce court decision), Texas law assumes you shouldn’t have equal rights to make decisions about your children.

In plain English: The law starts from the position that a parent who committed family violence shouldn’t get to decide things like where the kids go to school, what medical treatment they get, or where they live.

It’s your job to convince the judge otherwise. That’s really hard to do.

What “Losing Custody” Actually Means

People use “custody” to mean different things. Here’s what can actually happen:

Decision-Making Rights (What Texas Calls “Managing Conservatorship”):

Normal situation: Both parents share big decisions such as school, medical care, religion and where the child lives.

After family violence finding: Your ex makes all these decisions alone. You don’t get a say, even about major medical procedures or moving your child to another city.

Time With Your Kids (What Texas Calls “Possession and Access”):

Best case after family violence: You get the standard schedule: alternating weekends, one evening a week, alternating holidays. But you still don’t get to make decisions.

More common: Supervised visitation only. This means:

• You can only see your kids with another adult watching (often a professional supervisor you pay $50-100/hour).
• Visits happen at specific facilities, not your home.
• Everything you say and do is monitored and reported.
• Your kids know someone is watching to “keep them safe” from you.

Worst case: No contact at all with your children, sometimes for years.

What Supervised Visitation Looks Like in Houston

If you’ve never experienced this, here’s the reality:

You drive to a facility (often a small office building). You check in. Your children arrive separately with your ex or a social worker. You sit in a room — sometimes with toys, sometimes just chairs — while someone watches and takes notes. You get 2-3 hours. When time’s up, your kids leave with the other parent. You can’t take them anywhere. You can’t be alone with them. You can’t put them to bed or make them breakfast.

This can go on for months or years, depending on the case.

Real Outcomes We See

Scenario 1 – Criminal case dismissed, no evidence of violence: You likely get normal shared custody. The accusation alone isn’t enough if there’s no proof.

Scenario 2 – You take a plea deal (even deferred adjudication): You lose decision-making rights. You might get normal visitation time, or you might be stuck with supervised visits for 6-12 months.

Scenario 3 – You’re convicted of assault family violence: You’ll almost certainly lose decision-making rights. Supervised visitation is likely, at least initially. Getting back to unsupervised time with your kids will take a year or more of perfect behavior, completed classes, and positive reports.

Scenario 4 – Pattern of violence or injury to a child: You may lose all access to your children, possibly permanently.

What Protective Orders Mean for Your Family

A protective order (sometimes called a “restraining order”) is often the first thing that happens, and it has immediate, life-changing effects.

What a Judge Can Order You to Do

Leave your home: Even if you own the house or you’re on the lease, you have to move out immediately, usually within 24 hours. You can’t come back to get your things without police escort.

Stay away from your spouse and kids: You can’t call, text, email or contact them in any way. You can’t go to their home, work or school. You can’t go to your children’s school or activities.

Turn in your guns: You have to surrender all firearms to police or sell them. If you’re in law enforcement or military, this can end your career.

Go to classes: You’ll be ordered to complete a Batterer’s Intervention program, usually 24-36 weekly sessions over 6-9 months.

How Long It Lasts

Protective orders typically last two years. But in serious cases (if someone was badly hurt, if a weapon was involved, or if there’s a pattern of violence), they can last much longer, even for life.

What It Means for Your Job

If you work in law enforcement, military, security or any job requiring firearms, a protective order will likely cost you your job. Federal law prohibits anyone under a protective order from possessing guns or ammunition.

Even if you’re never convicted of anything, the protective order alone triggers this prohibition.

The Emergency Protective Order

Sometimes, the night you’re arrested, a judge issues an “emergency” protective order that kicks in immediately. You might not even know about it until you’re released from jail and told you can’t go home or contact your family.

These emergency orders typically last 31-61 days, then there’s a hearing for a longer protective order.

Real Situations We See in Houston

Let’s talk about how this actually plays out. These are situations we see regularly in Harris County.

The Argument That Got Out of Hand

What happened: You and your spouse had a huge fight. Maybe you were both yelling. Maybe there was pushing. Neighbors called the police. You were arrested because Texas law requires police to arrest someone when they respond to a family violence call.

What you’re thinking: “It was mutual. We were both upset. There wasn’t even a real injury. Once things calm down, this will go away.”

The reality: Even if your spouse doesn’t want to press charges, the prosecutor will move forward. They’ll use the police report, photos (even if they don’t show much), and 911 recordings. In divorce court, your spouse’s lawyer will use all of this to argue you’re violent and shouldn’t have the kids.

What you need to do: Fight the criminal charge hard, even if it seems minor. That criminal case affects everything in your divorce.

False Accusations for Leverage

What happened: You’re getting divorced. Things are contentious, especially about the kids. Suddenly, your spouse files a protective order with detailed allegations of abuse that either never happened or are wildly exaggerated. You’re kicked out of your home and cut off from your children overnight.

What you’re thinking: “This is obviously false. A judge will see through it. I’ve never been violent.”

The reality: At the protective order hearing, it’s your word against theirs. If your spouse testifies convincingly, the judge might grant the order “just to be safe.” Once that protective order exists, it becomes evidence in divorce court that you’re abusive. Even when you’re eventually proven innocent, the damage to your custody case is done.

What you need to do: Take the protective order hearing as seriously as a trial. Bring evidence immediately — texts, emails, witnesses who know the truth. Don’t wait.

The Plea Deal Trap

What happened: You’re offered deferred adjudication. Your criminal lawyer says “Take it — it’s not a conviction. You do some classes, stay out of trouble for a year, and it gets dismissed.”

What you’re thinking: “Great, I’ll avoid jail and a conviction. Then I can focus on getting time with my kids.”

The reality: Deferred adjudication for family violence is treated exactly the same as a conviction in divorce court. You just gave up your best chance at normal custody. The presumption against you having decision-making rights now applies. Your spouse’s lawyer will use your plea to argue you admitted to being violent.

What you need to do: Never accept any plea deal, even one that seems good, without understanding how it affects your custody case. Sometimes fighting and losing is better than taking a “good” plea.

Old Conviction Coming Back

What happened: You have a family violence conviction from 8 years ago, long before you had kids. You’ve moved on with your life. Now you’re getting divorced and your spouse is bringing it up.

What you’re thinking: “That was almost a decade ago. I’ve changed completely. It shouldn’t matter now.”

The reality: There’s no time limit. Texas law allows a family violence finding from any point in your life to be used against you. You’ll have to prove to the judge that you’ve changed, you’ve gotten help, and you’re not a danger now. It’s possible, but it’s an uphill battle.

What you need to do: Gather evidence of rehabilitation — therapy records, completed anger management, letters from counselors, years of peaceful co-parenting. You can overcome this, but you need to show real change.

Why the Criminal Case Matters So Much

Here’s what most people don’t understand until it’s too late: How the criminal case ends determines almost everything in your custody fight.

If the Criminal Charge Gets Dismissed

This is the best possible outcome. When the prosecutor drops the charges, it means the State, with all its resources and investigators, didn’t think they could prove you did anything wrong.

In divorce court, your attorney can point to this dismissal and say: “The State couldn’t prove this happened. Why should this court make a finding of family violence based on less evidence?”

A dismissal doesn’t guarantee you’ll win custody, but it gives you a fighting chance.

If You Take Any Kind of Plea Deal

Here’s the trap: Your criminal lawyer might tell you that deferred adjudication or pretrial diversion is a great deal because it’s “not a conviction.”

That’s true for your criminal record. But it’s completely false for your custody case.

Texas law specifically says that deferred adjudication for family violence counts the same as a conviction when deciding custody. The moment you accept that plea, you’ve triggered the legal presumption that you shouldn’t have equal rights with your kids.

We’ve seen parents accept these deals thinking they’re protecting their future, only to realize they’ve destroyed their custody case.

If You’re Convicted

A conviction makes everything harder. The presumption against you is firmly in place. You’ll need extraordinary evidence to convince a judge to give you normal custody rights.

But it’s not impossible. We’ve helped parents overcome convictions by showing:

• Completion of all required programs
• Individual therapy addressing the issues
• A long period of stability
• Positive relationship with the children
• Character witnesses
• Changed circumstances

What You Need in an Attorney

Most criminal defense attorneys focus on one thing: keeping you out of jail. That’s important, but it’s not enough when you have kids.

You need someone who understands that:

• A “good” plea deal in criminal court might be devastating in family court.
• Sometimes you have to fight charges you might lose, because taking a plea is worse for custody.
• The criminal and divorce attorneys need to coordinate strategy.
• What you say in one court can hurt you in the other court.

Lisa Strauss formerly worked as a prosecutor, and she knows how these cases are built, what evidence matters, and how to fight them. More importantly, she understands how every decision in the criminal case affects your family case.

That insider knowledge makes the difference between parents who get their kids back and parents who lose them.

Your Questions Answered

Get Help Now

If you’re facing family violence charges while going through a divorce in Houston or Harris County, you’re in crisis. Your relationship with your children is at stake.

You need someone who:

• Understands how the criminal case affects custody
• Knows when to fight and when to negotiate
• Has insider knowledge of how Harris County prosecutors build these cases
• Won’t sacrifice your kids to avoid jail time

Lisa Strauss was a former prosecutor before becoming a defense attorney. She’s seen these cases from both sides. She knows:

• What evidence prosecutors find convincing
• How to get charges dismissed before they ruin your custody case
• When a plea deal is actually good vs. when it destroys your parental rights
• How to coordinate criminal and family law strategy

The stakes are your children. Don’t trust this to someone who doesn’t understand both sides.

Schedule Your Confidential Consultation

Call our Houston office today. The sooner you act, the more options you have.